Earl grey tea.
8.32 a.m.
I am hanging out at my new favourite spot. Two days back I had a hot mocha here. I did not usually have coffee. But it is a new habit it seems. Today I decided to just have a cup of earl grey tea.
These days I need nothing but occasionally a moment of peace. The war of thoughts going on in my head can get a little intense. I tried to dispel them yesterday morning by going for a run. By the 2.5 km mark, my chest (or was it the heart?) was hurting so badly. Maybe it was the ghost of my dream feeding on my soul.
Yesterday I woke up feeling like a piece of me was missing. They say, good and bad dreams are determined by how you feel when you wake up. Then I suppose it was a really bad dream. In the dream, I lost two people who matter to me. In my waking world, it seems, I have partially lost them too.
It is like, no matter how hard you try to build your relationships with certain people, some things just fall through the cracks. And it is probably not because it is anyone's fault. Things just come up, and they are not always within your control. All you can do, really, is to get over it and move on, albeit painful.
I think I last went through this process more than a year ago. And I always thought this should get easier each time. Apparently, it does not work that way. Every time, it is a new kind of pain.
I am hanging out at my new favourite spot. Two days back I had a hot mocha here. I did not usually have coffee. But it is a new habit it seems. Today I decided to just have a cup of earl grey tea.
These days I need nothing but occasionally a moment of peace. The war of thoughts going on in my head can get a little intense. I tried to dispel them yesterday morning by going for a run. By the 2.5 km mark, my chest (or was it the heart?) was hurting so badly. Maybe it was the ghost of my dream feeding on my soul.
Yesterday I woke up feeling like a piece of me was missing. They say, good and bad dreams are determined by how you feel when you wake up. Then I suppose it was a really bad dream. In the dream, I lost two people who matter to me. In my waking world, it seems, I have partially lost them too.
It is like, no matter how hard you try to build your relationships with certain people, some things just fall through the cracks. And it is probably not because it is anyone's fault. Things just come up, and they are not always within your control. All you can do, really, is to get over it and move on, albeit painful.
I think I last went through this process more than a year ago. And I always thought this should get easier each time. Apparently, it does not work that way. Every time, it is a new kind of pain.
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ReplyDeleteContinue with your coffee/tea sessions gl. 🐻 We will be your friend whether it's a happy or unhappy time for u.
ReplyDelete