Chris got married last Saturday. Somehow I couldn't sleep well the night before. I was really, really happy for him. At the same time, I was actually feeling slightly melancholic. It was like, over the past many years, he had shared so much with me, particular his love life. I always remember the time I was on my way home on a long bus ride, and I was crying because he broke up with HM when I thought they would last forever. And I remember the time on my 21st birthday celebration, he was looking so upset because of the girl he liked. And then the time he texted me during my lecture to tell me he had fallen for his best friend. Then last week they tied the knot. When they marched into the ballroom, I was on the verge of tears. Emotional yes, I think a part of me was wondering if I had lost a friend because he would stop sharing anything with me. But on second thought, I guess it no longer matters. He would share with me when he thinks of me. Even if he no longer thinks of this frien...
I recall whenever I had negative thoughts or feelings, this space would be the first avenue I came to. As I browse through some of my very old entries, it dawned on me how depressed a person I had been. I mean, people who know me well would jolly well know how pessimistic I could get. These days, whenever I do not feel so good, most of the time I would brush the unhappy thoughts aside and visit the gym. I do not know if this is actually a sign of recovery (from depression of the past) or merely a matter of indifference. Today is one of the those days I do not feel very happy, much as the past week has been a very simple yet satisfying one. It is a sudden wave of angst, which I think I will attribute to the nearing of my periods. Sometimes I feel people take me for granted. Then again, I ask myself if I have taken people around me for granted, and then I feel I should not be complaining too much. Sometimes I think I am a very nice person to most of the people around me, then ...
I felt I hadn't been a good daughter in a while and so I decided to accompany mum out after dinner to get what she needed. It turned out that she paid more for me. The Marvel Hawaiian collection was on sale again and like always, I ran over to take a look, not in the hope that mum would allow me to get it (even though I'm now a full grown adult I still respect her when it comes to buying household necessities). I was surprised when she suggested that I got one, though in the end we got two because she saw that I couldn't make up my mind between the two designs. After that she got me a pair of comfy shoes because I had been complaining about knee pain due to lousy footwear. My mum loves me and I have always known that. It's just that she hardly pampers me and many a times I really yearn for that. I guess while I am already at the half mark of my twenties, deep down I cannot be more childish. My youngest sis would know that best. On a side note, after shopping with my mu...
True & meaningful. 👍
ReplyDeleteHope you has a relaxing exp, gl. & whether it's solitary time or chats with friends, it's OK too.
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