endless circles

This feeling of loss still returns, occasionally. I think I could better manage it last time because of stronger beliefs. Now, I am pinning on what is left of me.
Optimism? Sometimes, maybe. 
I think compared to a long time back, I am a lot more positive now. But this feeling of helplessness still bugs me a lot, especially when work really does not motivate me at all these days. I want to find that passion and energy back so much. I do not even know what my stumbling blocks are. And really, it does not help that there is just so much negative energy going on around me. I find myself always trying so hard to steer clear. 

And am still trying very hard. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

recovery

Tuesday has never been my favourite day because its proximity to Monday makes it equally dreadful. But. Today was slightly better. My buddy colleague returned from her vacation. Her presence makes me feel better. For anywhere you go, you probably still need that one person whom you trust and can rely on. We left work really early for a talk at NIE. Call me autistic, but that place is one I hardly want to visit, ever again. Thank goodness, it was the school vacation term. It felt a lot safer. After dinner, I boarded the double decker bus home. Normally I would not go up to the upper deck because I would usually be too lazy to do so. Today I decided to. But very instinctively, I went to the last seat at the back, then took out my new earpiece to listen to my newly discovered oldies. Yes, the irony. Thankful that I replaced my spoiled earpiece over the weekend because taking long bus rides without music at my ears is just weird. If there is anything I enjoy about being a working adult, it...
Read more

:]

Today was one of those days especially taxing for the brain, as I had two presentations in class, one of which I had spent days and nights working on in the last couple of weeks. Even during the two days when I was sick and on MC from work, I was working on it too. They probably make up less than 30% of my overall grade but I think I really slogged very hard before today.  I have to say though, that today has been one of the most fulfilling days in 2017. The group presentation came first. I was feeling, frankly, slightly unprepared as I had little time to work on it amidst my work and another assignment of the other module. The teacher was however very satisfied with the presentation and commended that I brought up some very good points which I had always wanted to share about translation. Less than 2 hours later, I was up again for my individual presentation, which kind of achieved a lot better impact that I had thought. The classmates were very amused. That kind of tickled me too...
Read more

Birthday.

I spent the last few days in Taiwan, climbing. I think I haven't climbed that many mountains in a shot in this lifetime. It was however very therapeutic albeit physically draining. I had enjoyed every bit of being in nature and could never have felt more inspired by the mountains and waters. Being there just made me feel like I was home and away from work for ages. Now I totally understand why Mic has to return to Korea every time she is free! The officer at Taoyuan Airport immigration smiled and wished me happy birthday after she had stamped on my passport, whose pages have already been filled with the same stamps of the same country. It was nice of her, really. That smile was one of the friendliest I had seen in Taiwan. On the flight back, turbulence was so bad that I really thought I was going to die on my birthday. While I didn't, I felt very nauseous even after clearing immigration. The cab ride back home made things worse with the driver driving very recklessly on the roa...
Read more