Kinderbueno time

To my dearest,

I know it hasn't been easy for you. It has been a long four months and you have been suffering so much. As much as I have been telling you to move on and be firm about letting go, I know how difficult it must have been for you. For like you, I also thought he was going to be the one for you. When I heard what had taken place, I really couldn't believe my ears. I recalled that one time when you were flying off to do your degree studies, he actually texted me to do a video for him because he wanted to compile some videos to surprise you. At that point I thought he was a reliable man and I was truly happy for you. I don't know if you knew about this. And I never once brought it up since you told me about what happened in January, because I didn't want to bring back bad memories for you when you have only just managed to come this far after so long. I would be as mad you as you, I already am. How could he do this to you when you have done so much for him? And in all honesty, I was worried you weren't going to pull yourself together because you have been so reliant on him. I know you have been crying almost every single day and I know it is still difficult to want to move on. 

But my dear, you are going to make it. I don't know how long this will take for you to heal completely. Even if you do heal completely, there are going to be scars. But I want you to know that you are going to pull through this, simply because he's not worth it, and more importantly, there are so many people who love you so dearly. I know you thought your life was going to be a fairy tale with a happy ending and at this point, you probably think it has turned out to be a bad ending. But my dear, your story has yet to end and I am very, very sure the happy ending is bound to take place anyway. I don't know what form it will take, I don't know who the character(s) will be in the end, and I don't know if it will be the ending you have expected. But I do know we should always be hopeful that things will turn out fine eventually. If we don't hold on to hope, what else is there to look forward to in life? 

Like you, I am furious to hear things today. In fact I wished I could go to him, slap him, and ask him where the guy who asked me to make a video for him went. I recall the guy who ever slapped you in front of me some many years ago. I swear I was walking to him to slap him back if not for the two friends who were pulling me back. And I even remember how we stopped talking because of that incident. Today, I would do that again anytime if this person is right in front of me. I would slap him hard and tell him he is a jerk. 

My dear, I would do anything for you. But would you do it for yourself too? Your family loves you so much, your friends love you so much. Forget about the one who hurt you, albeit so difficult, because you also loved him so much. Unfortunately, he is not deserving of your love and time anymore. You deserve a better life where you love yourself and be happy. Happiness probably doesn't seem to come easy for you at this point, but if you try, you will feel it. I promise. 

I really, really hope you will be brave in the face of all these. Slowly but surely, you will be fine. I cannot wait to see the happy you again. 

We try, okay?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

recovery

Tuesday has never been my favourite day because its proximity to Monday makes it equally dreadful. But. Today was slightly better. My buddy colleague returned from her vacation. Her presence makes me feel better. For anywhere you go, you probably still need that one person whom you trust and can rely on. We left work really early for a talk at NIE. Call me autistic, but that place is one I hardly want to visit, ever again. Thank goodness, it was the school vacation term. It felt a lot safer. After dinner, I boarded the double decker bus home. Normally I would not go up to the upper deck because I would usually be too lazy to do so. Today I decided to. But very instinctively, I went to the last seat at the back, then took out my new earpiece to listen to my newly discovered oldies. Yes, the irony. Thankful that I replaced my spoiled earpiece over the weekend because taking long bus rides without music at my ears is just weird. If there is anything I enjoy about being a working adult, it...
Read more

:]

Today was one of those days especially taxing for the brain, as I had two presentations in class, one of which I had spent days and nights working on in the last couple of weeks. Even during the two days when I was sick and on MC from work, I was working on it too. They probably make up less than 30% of my overall grade but I think I really slogged very hard before today.  I have to say though, that today has been one of the most fulfilling days in 2017. The group presentation came first. I was feeling, frankly, slightly unprepared as I had little time to work on it amidst my work and another assignment of the other module. The teacher was however very satisfied with the presentation and commended that I brought up some very good points which I had always wanted to share about translation. Less than 2 hours later, I was up again for my individual presentation, which kind of achieved a lot better impact that I had thought. The classmates were very amused. That kind of tickled me too...
Read more

Birthday.

I spent the last few days in Taiwan, climbing. I think I haven't climbed that many mountains in a shot in this lifetime. It was however very therapeutic albeit physically draining. I had enjoyed every bit of being in nature and could never have felt more inspired by the mountains and waters. Being there just made me feel like I was home and away from work for ages. Now I totally understand why Mic has to return to Korea every time she is free! The officer at Taoyuan Airport immigration smiled and wished me happy birthday after she had stamped on my passport, whose pages have already been filled with the same stamps of the same country. It was nice of her, really. That smile was one of the friendliest I had seen in Taiwan. On the flight back, turbulence was so bad that I really thought I was going to die on my birthday. While I didn't, I felt very nauseous even after clearing immigration. The cab ride back home made things worse with the driver driving very recklessly on the roa...
Read more