travelator
I stepped onto the travelator, refusing to move another inch at my comfortable spot. In my mind there was nothing. If anything, I was merely thinking about the topic relative velocity in Additional Mathematics. Mrs. Gan used to illustrate relative velocity using the principles of a travelator. Many people passed me by. So many of them. I was slightly taken aback by how absolutely no one was like me, just standing still and allowing the belt bring me to the other end where I would take the green line. I mean, is that not what a travelator is for? If you would want to walk so quickly to the other end, you could walk on normal grounds. Commuters were just rushing to the other end, some of them bumping into me, probably wondering why anyone would stay on the travelator and not move. They seemed so sure where they were going. Why? Why were they so sure but I am not?
Tuesday class ended fifteen minutes early because the lecturer decided that we would love to go home and prepare for the lunar new year. Not that fifteen minutes was a lot of time, but I thought she was very kind anyway. After all, being able to go home fifteen minutes earlier on a Tuesday night meant having fifteen more minutes of sleep before dragging oneself out of bed on a Wednesday morning. While I was very thankful for that early dismissal, on the train ride home I was thinking about what I had experienced in class earlier. I think I never felt more alive. It has been a while, since I actually felt so excited about a class. In a way I am very glad I made this decision to sign up for the class.
On the other hand, when I stepped onto the scale and saw that my weight hit an all-time low of 51.5, I knew something must be very wrong. Earlier on I wondered if all the giddiness was a psychological thing. Maybe it was a sign after all. My mind has been so fixed on one thing these days, that I could totally feel my gastric emit gastric juices that are making me feel so uncomfortable. It is no longer a matter of meals, I eat my food as and when necessary. I know myself. It is the anxiety issue. This time, it is a lot worse than any time before.
I think my decision is final. This is perhaps the most firm I could ever be. Yet a large part of me feels so painful every minute from the time I decided. I do not see myself cope with the process very well but I know I must pull through and move on. No more comfort zone, all over again.
Life goes on, no matter what, right?
Tuesday class ended fifteen minutes early because the lecturer decided that we would love to go home and prepare for the lunar new year. Not that fifteen minutes was a lot of time, but I thought she was very kind anyway. After all, being able to go home fifteen minutes earlier on a Tuesday night meant having fifteen more minutes of sleep before dragging oneself out of bed on a Wednesday morning. While I was very thankful for that early dismissal, on the train ride home I was thinking about what I had experienced in class earlier. I think I never felt more alive. It has been a while, since I actually felt so excited about a class. In a way I am very glad I made this decision to sign up for the class.
On the other hand, when I stepped onto the scale and saw that my weight hit an all-time low of 51.5, I knew something must be very wrong. Earlier on I wondered if all the giddiness was a psychological thing. Maybe it was a sign after all. My mind has been so fixed on one thing these days, that I could totally feel my gastric emit gastric juices that are making me feel so uncomfortable. It is no longer a matter of meals, I eat my food as and when necessary. I know myself. It is the anxiety issue. This time, it is a lot worse than any time before.
I think my decision is final. This is perhaps the most firm I could ever be. Yet a large part of me feels so painful every minute from the time I decided. I do not see myself cope with the process very well but I know I must pull through and move on. No more comfort zone, all over again.
Life goes on, no matter what, right?
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