recovering

While in the gym just now, I looked out of the window and saw an exceptionally big bird in the skies that were painted a beautiful orange-red. That could not have been a typical myna nor pigeon. Probably a hawk, I thought. And I also thought that was a rare sight, as rare as seeing a crestfallen me these days. Or, maybe not these days. 

Maybe I needed a quiet night in my room like this to see for myself who I really am at this point in time. These days, I kept thinking back and wondered how I had managed to move on. If anything, I very much want to adopt the same method I did earlier. Then again, I do not suppose I did anything in particular. Maybe time was the key. 

I read a friend's Facebook post yesterday on how being happy makes a person feel less sleepy. That is exactly the opposite of what I have been feeling of late. I am damn sleepy, every single day. 

I actually feel slightly jaded. While on the way home from gym, I was scrolling some posts I shared years ago and I came across the word "alexithymia". I wanted to make this my new favourite word but nah, it is too negative a term, and I certainly do not want to sink back into where I climbed out of. 

How long will this take this time? I actually have no idea. But I know I got to snap out of it. At the end of September, I am going to make plans for myself. A long distance learning degree maybe. A new class maybe. 

Anything that keeps me really busy.