tacenda

I did a lot of packing in the week that just passed. Pretty sure it was the largest scale I ever did in my life. Initially I had made a deal with myself to discard a hundred items, just so that I did not continue to keep the items that I always did not want to discard, and then end up accumulating more and making the room messier than ever.  And so... everything went into the bin, or the Salvation Army. Almost every gift, every Doraemon merchandise, every little thing I bought for myself but was not very practical. Gosh, now I learn the importance of minimalism and how much money I could have saved up had I not spent them on so many unnecessary things...  After my final bit of packing this morning, I make another deal with myself: NO MORE UNNECESSARY PURCHASES. And of course, out of the millions of Doraemon items in the house, more than half of them (from different people) are gone. It was really a painful decision to have to discard/donate them but I figured they really had t...

The wait has come to an end, or so I hope. I got a confirmation call to inform that I had been shortlisted. I ought to be happy, I suppose. But as a matter of fact, I was not particularly ecstatic. If anything, I was just contented. Nothing gets me too excited these days. I was reminded of the last time I went through a phase like this. That period, I think it took me a year and the phase was pretty painful with all the other dramas going on in my life. This time, it was a lot better. My friends were ever so encouraging. A part of me, however, cannot help but be paranoid. The last time I got an offer, I went through the toughest part of my life thus far. This time, I am so worried that gaining something might mean I might lose some soon.  But a friend often tells me, "Law of Attraction".  I have been reminding myself this time and again.  Believe in the positive, and it will come to you.

可惜回不去那一秒 你好不好?

Dear Mr. Yeo I have not written to you in a while, have I? I dreamt of a man who looked so much like you last night. But that was not you. You would have been more composed, less stern and a lot friendlier. Somehow, in the dream, I cried very, very badly, to the point that I found my eyes wet with tears when I woke up this morning. I wonder if it meant that you have gone to another world and would never appear in my dreams anymore. That thought brought tears to my eyes once again. But I know, you have to leave for somewhere better.  It has been four years. The image of you talking to me at the Deck is still lucid in my head. I listened to your advice and started pursuing a diploma in Translation some time after I started working. And I am already finishing the course!  Your words often ring in my head, be it those you said when you were still around or in my dreams. I always try to ensure I check up the dictionary when I am not too sure, and I share with my friends what you sh...

早上拖着非常疲倦的身子去健身。 今天比平时努力很多。因为告诉自己，这几天吃好多，明显重了。真的需要多烧些脂肪。 结果搞到自己超累。 接着就去教补习。 然后约了近两年没见面的朋友。 是应该很感恩的。因为前阵子没有回这个朋友的简讯。 也不知道是自己忙，还是当时真的很选择性地不回简讯。 两年不见，朋友生了两个小孩。 但她还是老样子。这也是我很感恩的事情。 毕竟，随着大家经历不同的事情，要一直保持不变也不是很容易的事情吧？ 虽然忙到一个不行，但还是觉得是时候去看看一下我的宝贝干儿子。 于是早上跟孩子的妈妈说我会找她吃饭。 刚跟她碰面不久，正要去吃饭，结果让我们碰上阿武！！！ （严格来说，先看到他老婆。） 我自然是二话不说，想都不想，直接上前问：“阿武，我可以照个相吗？” 他正在试衣服，所以指着衣服问：“穿着这个?” 我说：“对啊，我们可以帮他们宣传一下。” 他回头跟售货员说：“我们帮你们宣传一下。” 然后就这样轻而易举拍到了！ 到现在还是觉得很不真实。 若干年前，一直在想，如果有天在街上碰到他，我要怎么问他照个相呢？ 结果在最不期待的时候，就遇到了。 老实说，看到他的兴奋指数真的没有几年前那么高。 甚至，我的幸福感好像持续一段很短的时间。 也许我长大了？ 但我真的觉得，这还是个很值得开心的事。 不因为什么，只是觉得，有些事本来就是最不经意的时候发生。 所以不论前路有多迷惘，只要保持着一个淡定，容易满足的心，好的事情还是会发生。 感恩，而且告诉自己要更积极！

Yesterday marked my last day with the organisation I have been with for almost three years, and the institution I have been comfortable in for the past eight years.  So much emotions going on in the last one month, ever since I made the rash decision to tender my resignation.  I would still say, though, that I have not regretted, even though people have told me that this tinge of regret would come back to bite me later.  I don't think I have ever received this many notes and gifts in my life? The waves of farewell greetings, hugs and handshakes really warmed me up on the inside and made me believe that I have touched the lives of some after all. I have had colleagues whom I hardly worked with asking to have lunch before I leave. I received some very cute notes and little gifts from people I had never received anything from before. A few old colleagues hugged me, patted my head, touched my face, cried for me, as if I were their daughter. The number of times I had free lunc...

I guess I could never feel more hurt than being accused by a friend I care for so much. This could be why, I no longer care.