Dear You,


It has been...two months? You said you didn't want to push me away, maybe I pushed you away instead. And now, no matter how hard I try, you just never come back. I know you are dealing with your own problems. I know you have been unwell. And I really, really don't want you to be facing your problems alone. I want to hear you share with me what you are stressed out about, like you always did. We have shared so much in the last one year, I don't know why we ended up this way. I wished you knew just how much I want to say I am sorry, if I had upsetted you. But I also wished you knew how confused I was earlier when things happened, that I had to do what I did. I'm sorry I hurt you. 

But if space is what you need from me now, okay. I am going to let you go and give you what you want. I don't know how to lose you now without losing a part of myself. But I am going to try. Remember what we joked about me bringing you bad luck? I hope from now on, things will only get better for you and you will get all the good luck you need. You have always been a lucky person. And I just want you to be well and happy. 

I love you so much, stupid. Take care of yourself please, and stop smoking. 

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