tacenda

I have been mad busy that I hardly had anytime for anything. Made a trip to the doctor twice and health just does not seem to get a lot better. Times like this I am thankful for a relatively strong mind. I almost cannot imagine myself to be mentally or emotionally vulnerable at this point in time because there is simply too much on my plate. There is however a lot on my mind, things I am dying to do. I decided I shall list them down and after this Saturday when two items on my checklist are struck off, perhaps I can start a life. 1. Get a nice birthday gift for Rahil. 2. Make a photo album for my dear godson Alden. 3. Read a book! 4. Watch a movie. 5. Spend at least twice a week at the gym. (I have been slacking way too much) 6. Shopping!  I am not a greedy person. I do what I think I deserve :) Days have been rough because of the amount of work to do, but I have never given up, even when my gastric has been giving me the most problems of late.  Always thankful for a bunch of ...

不知道从什么时候开始，我已不太懂得如何与人交际。曾经以为自己擅长与人沟通，所以能够结识很多朋友。长大了才慢慢发现，还是喜欢独自一人在一个角落静静地做自己喜欢做的事。近来忙坏了。工作倒还好，学业居然让我忙得病倒了。说真的，有那么一刻我好想放弃，什么都不去做了。但最终还是咬紧牙关告诉自己要坚持下去。身边很多朋友说要见面，我要不没回复，要不不断延后。因为真的，我还累啊。即便是跟朋友出来吃个饭，也都是找回几个最熟络的朋友。也许就只有在这些朋友面前，不出声也能觉得很舒服。这使我发现，原来这些年来交的朋友，不过几个才是会一直留在身边的。 那天病假在家看电视，有一幕女主角说：“你会不会常常有这种感觉，突然觉得很迷惘，不知道自己到底适合做什么？” 我想这个感觉我应该很熟悉吧。大概不是每个人会这么觉得，但对我而言，这个感觉来来回回，并没有真正的离开过。 我也没有很难过。只是近来身体不好，容易乱想事情。真的好想放松一下，却又没有时间这么做。 长大了的生活，真不简单。

New department is not as good as I expected earlier, I think. In the first place, I should not be pinning hopes. Rather, I should not be so naive? Sometimes, I think my naivety has reached an unrivaled level that I find myself pathetic. The game of marginalisation, somewhat too familiar for me, has come back again. This time, however, it brings with it many lessons for me to learn. I told myself before, I would come back from my break and live in my cave. I think I have yet to practise it, largely because my character does not allow me to. So many people have spoken to me these days. I figure I really need to learn, the hard way if need be. Perhaps right from the beginning, I have never been someone who fits in easily. Let it go man. Let it go.