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Showing posts from June, 2016

在也不见

星期四是端午节。师母传来简讯问我今天要不要到他们家吃粽子,顺便吃午餐。我答应了。 出发前,师母还千叮万嘱不要买东西上他们家。 于是我只好两手空空去吃霸王餐。 一坐就是三小时。照样是跟师母聊些生活琐事。 只是这次,在谈话中意识到阿嫲的记忆力似乎退化了一些。 我也明白,人老了,记忆库这个东西终究是会越来越有限。 回家的时候,我想:有一天如果阿嫲不再记得我是谁,她问我的话,我要怎么说呢? 您儿子的学生? 应该是这样吧。虽然这样讲听起来就是怪怪的。 如果到时候阿嫲不再记得我,我还有没有理由去探望她呢?见到她,我可以说什么呢? 毕竟,不再记得我的她,也许不会想跟我这个陌生人多说话。 想到这里,我竟然有一点点害怕。 一个曾经熟悉的面孔,无所不谈的朋友,转眼间变得不再熟悉,不再有话题聊,这样的画面,似曾相识,却也很遥远。 离开师母家,我跟妹妹去看了电影《再见,在也不见》。 第二和第三个故事让我感触特别深。 尤其关乎友谊的那一个。 我想起周围有很多曾经很熟络的朋友,如今在地铁月台上、街道上、书店里,哪里都好,我多半会装作没看见。 对我而言,也并不是什么所谓的太久没见,见了会尴尬。 对于一些人,确实是不要见得好。 因为过去的种种喜怒哀乐实在太多太多,见了面也许只会触碰到过去,于是勾起的不论是美好或不美好的回忆,只会让人想了觉得遗憾。 但我也有点领悟。 早上跟妹妹讨论要看什么电影的时候,我其实建议看喜剧,但她坚决要看这部,因为她就是喜欢悲情的故事。 要是以前,我会毫无异议地跟她看。因为曾经的我就是喜欢看悲情的电影,听悲情的歌曲,然后才来躲在房间的一角觉得这个世界太可悲了。 我以前应该是患有忧郁症吧? 现在我喜欢听开心的歌,看让人笑到飚泪的电影。 不开心的东西,我尽量远离。 因为不开心这个东西的影响力实在太大了。 好则让人发奋图强,坏则让人沉沦。 人固有喜怒哀乐,不开心很正常。只是,总要记得重新振作。 虽然有些人,在我也不想见,但在同一片天空下的我还是希望他们健康快乐。

Mean

There are those who speak ill of others and are condemned as mean people. Sometimes I think I am one of those. Truth be told, this mouth of mine, can be very nasty. I do bitch a lot, especially about people who are not nice to me. But I think the meanest people are those that say the sweetest words and give the widest smiles but when problems come up, they are ungracious and selfish. I'm afraid there are so many of such people. This is one thing that I came to terms with myself on today and it actually made me feel a lot better.

Hmmm

So, it's June already. May has been extremely busy. Work-wise, it seemed that the whole world was on leave and I had to cover so many duties. Life-wise, finally done with Angie's wedding. One of my favourite women. She was so gorgeous that day and I know she is going to have a blissful life ahead. And yes. X-Men. I watched it on the day it debut. With the best friend of course. It could have been a lot better. And I think I miss the old cast too much that all these just could not appeal to me. Bryan Singer said he hoped to finish the series with a last movie that features the original cast. I reallyyyyyyy pray that he is going to do that. These days, the heart and mind have been very peaceful. Happy, I dare not say. But definitely quite contented with everything in my life. Then again, there are moments that really set me thinking, if it is time to move to a brand new environment to embrace a new life. It still gets to me, the feeling of having to reinvent myself. The feeling o...